Waiting for a time
by norway22
Summary: BEWARE! KYOXYUKI YAOI BOYXBOY LOVE! Kyo is convinced he needs to die before Akito locks him away... what will Yuki do to stop his kitten? I OWN NOTHING!
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note**: Hey, this is my first ever fanfic that I have published on this site... and its my first ever attempted stab at angstyness. So, enjoy, tell me if I failed horribly and should stop? Or if it is sorta alright! Enjoy..:D

**Warnings**: It's going to be rated M for much angstyness and manxman sex... that would be **YAOI** people, so don't get offended by the buttsex. Which will come in chapter 3 or 4. Hmmm.... its KyoxYuki, BTW.

**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own a thing, except these twisted fantasies that I have between cousins. All rights go to the fabulous Natsuki Takaya... though, in reality, if I _did_ own Fruits Basket, it would be filled with much smut.... waaaay tooooo muuuchhh..

And, have no fear all, this story will have a happy ending. I hate it when I read a huge fanfic and at the end, everybody is dead/raped/messed up.

_Kyo's POV_

ON that day, I knew I needed to die. Not needed, per say, but I knew that my life needed to be as painful as possible, and that in the end, yes, I would die by my own hand. Call it dramatic, call it suicidal, but I knew my life had to be painful to make up for the sin of killing my mother, and had to end before I hurt anyone else.

Hmm, I guess I have to explain the situation that made a six year old decide that his life was pointless. It was a cold day, the kind of day that occurs when the weather hasn't decided between being winter or spring, storm clouds racing across the sky, deciding whether or not to hydrate the ground beneath them. I was playing in the orchard, collecting the sakura flowers that were drifting to the earth, blanketing the grass in a fragile pink blanket. I had decided to collect the blossoms, because I knew that my mother was partial to the blossoms, and she would be happy to see the bouquet that I had planned for her. As I finished my task, and was walking towards my house, I, rather unfortunately, ran into the person who I could call the catalyst of my life: Akito. When you are six, you fear lots of things; monsters under the bed, the dark, being alone, and an assortment of other trivial fears. But Akito, he, the God of the Zodiac, he was the monster under the bed; he was the epitome of every fear my young self had. To this day, I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't ran into him that day, if he hadn't hit me, if he hadn't pulled my beads from my wrists, the flowers I had picked for my mother strangled in my mutated hands. If I hadn't ran into Akito, I wouldn't have had to go home in that other form, my mother wouldn't have had to see me and she wouldn't have had to take me into our home and wait for the storm to pass and me to turn back into the form she knew, the form that consisted of her son, the child she bore, not the monster I am forced to change into.

Yes, it was that day. I cried myself to sleep, in part because of the immense physical pain that ensues whenever I change forms, but also due to the immense shame I felt, because even though I was only six, I knew that look in my mothers eyes; horror, disgust, and fear. The same eyes that had looked into mine for six years, the same eyes that had watched me grow, the eyes that belonged to the most important person in my life. And yet, when she saw me in my true form, her eyes held none of the gentle emotions it usually did; no, instead it held the emotions she truly felt towards her son that had been cursed with the cat spirit. When I woke up from my tear-induced sleep, my brain registered many things at once. First, while I was sleeping, somebody had replaced my curse bracelet. Secondly, the house was eerily dark, the silence deafening during the time my mother would usually be in the kitchen, concocting some sort of meal that she hoped would please me. But she wasn't in the kitchen, and I was alone, in the dark, with what I knew was one hell of a big monster in the closet. I got out of my bed, with the faint hope that I would find my mother somewhere in the house, or maybe even my father, which wasn't likely because he was on a business trip and wasn't expected home for two weeks. I checked my mothers room, the living room, the guest bedroom, the kitchen, the dining room, the library, outside, in the attic. I checked everywhere, except the one room where I could see a faint light flickering under the door: the bathroom. To this day I wonder why I left that room for last. Maybe subconsciously I knew that when I opened the door to the room that she was most likely in, my life would be altered for, for good or evil, and I couldn't stop it. I slide open the door, apprehension flooding my brain, and saw everything.

They say that when you see something traumatic, your sanity tries in vain to protect itself by allowing you to take in all the details of the traumatic event except the piece de resistance. I can clearly remember the slightly fogged mirrors, my mothers clothes in a pile near the hamper, the scent of rose in the air, coyly trying to cover the bitter metallic smell of freshly spilled blood, the candles almost burned down to the nub. And if I think about it hard enough, I can remember the position of my mothers lifeless body, submerged in the red-stained water of her bath, her eyes closed in death, both arms flopped over the side of the both. Both wrists slit, down the arm, opening both arteries. A pool of blood, spreading in an attempt to cover the entire floor, more blood still dripping from her self-inflicted wounds. I can remember it all, if I ever deemed so, but I don't, for more than obvious reasons. That day, I slide to my knees, and sat in the bathroom with my dead mother, my mind blissfully blank from shock, waiting for the flickering candle light to cease, leaving me alone with a corpse, alone in the dark, alone in the world. There I sat, my six year old self arguing as to why my mother did that to herself, and after coming up with only one feasible reason, knew that it was my fault, and knew that I had to pay for what I did. Which I am doing. Slowly, painfully, but surely.

They found me in the same position in the morning, the pool of blood spreading from my mother now almost entirely covering the floor, and me, in the same position, eyes open in self-hate. The next days flew in a blur, the only incidents worth mentioning were the confrontations with Akito and my father. Akito, he was, to say the least, disgusted and pleased in the change of events. He was disgusted that a Sohma, a fucking Sohma, could even think of commiting such a heinous crime, while at the same time he knew that he could forever hold this over my head, knowing that he would be able to taunt me about this until I died. And my father, he blamed me for her death, and disowned his six year old son who was not guilty yet, only cursed, cursed with something he had no control over. I think that I would have been able to turn myself from the destructive path I had set myself on if my father had supported me on that day, an reassured me that it wasn't my fault. But, he didn't, and I was set to the life that I had planned for myself, on that I would try my damndest to make my life as short and as painful as possible. After my confrontation with Akito, I knew I had a timeline to finish my ultimate goal. When he told me that I would be locked away after I graduated high school, I knew that I had to finish my goal before I allowed that to happen. Yeah, I know, these were the thoughts that a six year old were having, but I just blame it on the curse, and the fact that my own mother killed herself to get away from me.

After my father disowned me, I was taken in by Kazuma, my martial arts teacher. Life was alright, and I almost forgot about my life's goal while I was with him, but then, dammit, Akito deemed that I was too happy and that I had to move in with that hentai and the damn rat, so I could 'savor' my last few years of freedom. I moved into the house when I was 15, with only 3 years left of freedom. And by God, I swore that I would make those years as painful as I could to not only pay for the sin of killing my mother, but for enjoying my life with Kazuma when I should have been in penance for my initial sin. But hell, I am the cat, and being twice cursed is something I am used to.

Well that said, I hope that explains my certain predicament. I've been living with Shigure for a little over two and a half years. I only have a brief span of time left to live, and I was going to make the best of the time. A short while back, a young woman, that goes by the name of Tohru, joined our household. Now, if somebody were to ever put a damper on my ultimate goal, it would be her. I've tried so hard to push her away, to hurt her, to make her never want to come near me, all in an attempt to prevent her from being hurt when I die. But, I've given up, she has wormed her way into my heart, and I know that she will be hurt when I am dead, but there is nothing I can do to stop that. And, in some sense, she is the reason that I am in the position I am. Which could be called the most awkward position of my life. Which, in some circles, warrants a 'fuck my life' sticker.

As you know, 10 years ago I promised myself that I would make my life as painful as possible. And it was that god damn promise that has lead me to this position, aka the most awkward position of my life. That promise lead me to be on my bed, blood running down my thigh from the perfectly symmetrical lines I had just carved into my flesh, with that god damn rat standing in the recently opened doorway. Imagine this: me, in my boxers, bloody and weak, gripping a razor in my right hand, and him, fucking Yuki, standing in my doorway, his eyes panicked, mouth open, literally speechless, and most likely trying to decided whether to vomit, walk away and try to forget, or help.

Hence, me in the most awkward position of my life.

Damn rat, didn't he know how to knock? Internally, I was having an epic battle of wills. While I knew that I needed to die in the most painful way before graduation, nobody was ever supposed to know I was killing myself slowly. I knew what I was doing; self-mutilation, anorexia, bulimia-if it would lead to my slow and painful death, you can beat that I've done it. But I was the only one who was supposed to know of my death wish. If Akito even guess that I was trying to thwart his plan of locking me up after graduation, I would be in that cage in an instant. I have spent the last 10 years hiding my secret successfully, and in one fell swoop, it was teetering on the brink of destruction. And it was all thanks to, drumroll please, my supposed 'eternal rival' and cousin, Yuki Sohma.

And, for the sake of appearance, I would like it to be known that I do not hate Yuki. In reality, most everything that I wanted in myself I saw in him. I might be jealous of him, but I don't hate him. OH, why the fuck do I think I can lie to myself? No, I don't hate him, I am in love with him. There, I said it, happy? I only put up this front to appease Akito and to ensure that I would not become friends with him, in an attempt to spare him pain when I am gone.

But, now, my secret is threatened, and I knew I needed to fix this… somehow, anyhow, and quickly.

And there I was, sitting there, bloody, half-naked, and could only think of one thing to say.

"Fuck".

Way to go Kyo, that really helps the situation. Dammit, dammit, dammit, of all times to loose the ability to lie, of course it would be now. Thank god one of us was thinking, as he quickly stepped into the bedroom closing the door behind him, preventing the rest of the house's inhabitants from seeing the gory picture that would be me. I looked at his face and was stunned to realize that he had let his façade go; actually I knew it had shattered when he saw my dirty little secret. For some reason, his eyes were wet with unshed tears, and emotions were rushing through his eyes at a speed I couldn't follow; horror, sadness, shame, and a torrent of other unidentifiable emotions rushed through those lilac pools. As much as I hated to admit it, it was my fault that he was in pain right now, and I knew that I needed to fix it somehow, and hope that he didn't use this new knowledge to crush me.

My mind was going a mile a minutes, trying to think of a lie to tell him, when Yuki finally spoke.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Yuki stammered, unlike his normal 'ice-prince' self. I guess seeing your enemy covered in his own blood that had also been let by said enemies own hand would cause some confusion. Who the fuck am I kidding; it would cause your mind to explode. I knew his brain had just committed suicide, throwing itself at the front of his skull, and I knew that currently his brain was a pile of mush, trying to find a way to leak out of his ears. I knew this, but still, I couldn't help but feel a flash of sadistic pleasure knowing that I had broken his 'ice-prince' façade, that this stupid cat had caused the damn rat to stutter.

But, come on, of all the questions to ask. He had to ask the one fucking question that I know for a fact he, being a genius and all, could answer for himself.

I scoffed, trying to protect what little pride I had left, "What the fuck do you think I'm doing? This blood certainly didn't magically appear. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm just not that good. Put two and two together Yuki. Connect the dots, I know you are smart, don't fail me know."

Fuck, well that didn't work. He is still looking at me as though I just murdered hundreds of baby rats. Alright, let's try Plan B: just pretend this hasn't happened, walk over to my bathroom, turn the water on, wash the blood away, slaps some bandages on, go down for dinner, and never, ever, double ever piss him off again. Hell, if he would keep my secret I would have no problems becoming his bitch until I died.

Only problem with Plan B would be the whole walking problem. Fuck, I'm weak from blood lose, and I know as soon as I stand up, the clots are going to break and I am going to start bleeding all over again. And at this moment, things cannot possibly get anymore awkward, and the blood was getting sticky. I needed to get it off, and soon.

About that whole not getting anymore awkward part, let me inform you, I was wrong. As I stood and made my way to my bathroom, blood once again freely running down my legs, my passage marked by the small, dark red lakes left in my wake, I came to realize that Yuki would now be able to see all of me, see all my scars, see every last rib and vertebrae that stuck out, devoid of any fat. And, while in the back of my mind, I hoped that he would not notice such trivial things as those, but when I saw his face pale to a shocking white, I knew he had noticed, and was not impressed. Well, fuck, now he had seen everything, but still, I've got to wash off this blood and put some bandages on.

With my back towards Yuki, I made quick work of my first-aid, deftly removing the dry blood, hissing in pain as I cleaned the wounds with peroxide, applying anti-bacterial, and finishing up my work with fresh, white bandages. When I looked and saw that blood was already soaking the bandages, I knew that I would have to change those tonight, or risk bleeding all over my bedding. I turned around to put on some clothes, still undecided on the issue of what the hell to do with Yuki. I quickly pulled on some sweats and a long-sleeve black tee, which I started wearing instead of my short-sleeved shirt to hide the growing number of scars. I turned towards Yuki, hoping against hope that he would have left, or that he was actually a ghost because I was actually dead, but, nope, there he was, not quite as pale, but now with an angry glint in his eye, and I knew what was coming next: Questions and Answers, Yuki and Kyo style. Major boner-killer. Fuck.

I sat on my bed and waited for him to start with the questions, because Lord knows I saw no need for this conversation to ever take place, and I refused to start it. I didn't have to wait long.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing? Cutting? Are you really that pathetic? Do you want to die, or are you just doing this on some attention seeking whim? And how long have you been doing this? When you, well, I saw all of those scars Kyo! Some where old! And why are you so fucking skinny. I know you are picky about your food, but not starve-yourself picky? What is going on? I demand answers, you-you- asshole!" Yuki asked, each question growing in volume and ferocity, until the last swear was spit out with enough venom attached to kill a lesser man.

I looked at him with the most bored expression I could muster; my faced trained to deflect any emotions I was feeling from showing on my face.

"Slow down, patience is a virtue Yuki. Let's see, which to start first. I've been doing this whole, as you so eloquently put it, 'attention seeking' cutting pretty consequently for the last two years, and on and off for the last 8. Let's see, why am I so skinny? Two words; anorexia, bulimia. What else did you ask? OH, the end to all your questions: Yes, I do want to die, just not yet, not until I am as painful as I can be".

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!!! I wasn't supposed to reveal that part. How is Yuki going to take my reveleation. Hopefully he is just going to brush it off as something insignificant, but seeing as my luck seems to have fled completely tonight, I knew that he wasn't going to let that sentence, that one damn admission slide. Which meant I would have to explain myself. The thought of lying is appealing, but at the same time, the idea of just telling somebody about everything caused my heart to flutter, and I knew when Yuki asked the question, I would tell him everything, bare my soul, as twisted as it is, to pass under his judgement. And, I hoped that it would not pass unwanted.

Yuki was giving me this incredulous stare, trying to figure out what to do in this impossible situation.

"What do you mean Kyo? I don't get it, and I know we hate each other, but please, just tell me. I want to help, dammit, I don't want my rival to just die without me trying to stop him" Yuki said to me in a soft voice, unlike his recent tones, speaking as though he was trying to help an injured animal, trying not to move to fast in case I bolted.

When I heard him ask those questions in such a weak voice, my resolve crumbled. Even though I knew that he was only acting like he cared because that is what you do when you see somebody bleeding, it was alright because in that moment my Yuki was worried about me. And that was enough.

"Do you really want to know?" I whispered that last plea, hoping beyond hope that Yuki would listen to me and not be disgusted by the story I was about to reveal. I was hoping he would not take his last chance to leave me before I revealed everything.

"Yes" That one word, whispered softly, was all I needed.

I could care less if he is only pretending to care because he is shocked, or because he doesn't know what to do. All I needed to know was that the man I am in love with wanted to listen to me, and even if I was disillusioned about his reasons for wanting to listen to me, it was okay. I could always pretend.

"I'm sure you have heard the story, another one of the dirty little secrets that are hidden under the rug in the Sohma family. I killed my mother when I was six; no, by my own hands, but I am as guilty as if I was the one who ran the blade across her wrists. I murdered my mother; I am a monster, fuck I even turn into a monster! I decided that I needed to die the night that I found my mother; that I needed to atone for the sins that I had committed. So I decided to make my life as painful as possible for the remaining time I am alive. And let me tell you, I will be dead before graduation, and I promise to myself that I will die in the most painful way possible. Why? Because I don't deserve anything more. I am a monster! And dammit, Akito knows that I am a monster. When I graduate, I will be locked away forever, so nobody else becomes tainted by 'the cat monster'. That is why I must die before that, before graduation, because I know Akito will not give me the chance to end my life. And I don't deserve to live if I am not in pain. Fuck, why am I telling you this? Well, if I am going to bare my soul, I might as well show it all, don't want to look like a pussy in front of the damn rat. Ever wondered why I have always been so hell-bent on kicking your ass? Truth is, in a fight, your ass would be mine in an instant. Akito made a bet with me; if I beat you, I would be free, and you would remain with him at the main house. It's all for show; I know how Akito treats me, and I would never wish it on another, even you. So, I pretend to lose to you, and wait for my death"…….

By the end of that speech, possible the most words I have ever said at once, I realized that I was yelling at my rapidly paling cousin. Dammit, what is he going to say? Is he going to hate me? What am I going to do? Just speak, Yuki, just say something. Please, the silence is deafe….

"Oh" Yuki whispered.

And at that, my ever present short-fuse was lit, and I was, once again, yelling at my overly feminine cousin.

"OH! I just literally spilled my guts to you, and all you say is 'oh'? Don't I at least deserve a 'thanks for trusting me Kyo' or a 'I promise not to tell Akito' or even a 'its not your fault that your mother killed herself'? No, I get a fucking 'oh'! Dammit, I knew there was a reason that I never tell people shit. Fuck!"

How is it that I seem to always yell at the most important person in my life? That I seem to enjoy this sick sort of pleasure I get from hurting him? Dammit, that's not it, I know I am just overreacting because I feel, ughhh, vulnerable. He is holding my life literally in his hands, and I don't know what he is going to do with this information. Damn nerves, I'm going to puke. Wait, he's speaking again.

"Alright, Kyo, I am just a bit shocked, and, well, no, really shocked. I apologize for my uncouth behavior after you confided in me, but let me assure you that I have no intention of telling Akito. You can trust me. Now, we will need to have another conversation very soon, but preferably when we are alone and when I have comprehended what you are saying to me. Now, I know you are not feeling your best, but I know Ms. Honda is waiting for us with dinner. Let's attend to that, and later tonight we shall continue this conversation?"

Well, that is not what I expected. Why is my heart fluttering so? He sounds like he cares, but I know that is not possible… is it? And what is that look in his eyes? I have never seen it there before.. its like he's almost smiling. Now I am confused, but that is alright. Okay, mental checklist…. Get dinner, eat dinner, throw up, take shower, think about this situation, and talk to Yuki. Alright, I can do this. Okay, I am good, cargo shorts, black shirt, now I just gotta make sure I don't bleed through these bandages. That would be a definite bad thing, cause how would I explain that? 'Oh, sorry Shigure, its just that time of the month, you understand?'… oh, that would go over well.

"Are you coming?" He asked me so sincerely, holding out his hand, which I promptly took. Hell, I wasn't going to give up a chance to touch him that was not during battle.

"Thanks", I said as he helped me from my bed. There it is again, that half smile. What does that mean? And, I wonder more than anything else, what would it look like if he smiled fully? With my head filled with Yuki smiling, I followed said rat downstairs, smiling the entire way.

"Kyo, you looked a bit peaked tonight; hmmm, lust filled eyes, pale skin, slight limp… I would have to say that you are the victim of passionate buttsex. So, who was it? Have you and Yuki gone from rivals to lovers? Ah, damn, Ayame won the bet… but your happiness is my first wish! Congratulation!"

OH. My. Fucking. God. Did that dog, did Shigure just say what I think he said. No, impossible. Mental playback: "_victim of passionate buttsex"_. OH, wait, he did say that… in from of Yuki!

"You damn pervert, can't you see we are eating? And, no, I am not the victim of passionate buttsex, I just tripped. Dammit, did I just say that. You bastard! Gahhh!"

Oh, and now the entire table is looking at me as though I am challenged, just a bit touched in the head. Damn. Shigures snickering behind that damn fan, Tohru is so red I would not be surprised if steam was coming out of her head, and Yuki is…. Blushing? 'Da fuck? Screw this, I am getting out of here before I die of embarrassment, dinner be damned.

"I'm outta here. I'm gonna go take a shower, and you, _pervert_, if you follow me, its over. You will die."

If I just ignore Tohru's gaze, I will be outta here scott free, and… I did it! Okay, next on the mental checklist; vomit and shower. This part is worse then anything that I could ever do to my skin; the burning, the tears, the gagging. So beautifully painful that words can never express it; or, I should say, words will try to explain this feeling, but none can ever come near. People can try as hard as they want, but there will never be words to describe this type of pain. **(a/n… I really hate throwing up, and bulimia is a scary disease, so I am just going to gloss over the actual part.. use your imagination!)**

The tears have stopped and the burn is subsiding. Tonights different; there's blood. Hmmm, I don't want to rupture anything inside, because then Hatori would be called, and he would just _know_ because he always does. Guess it is time to stop this particular habit.

Rinsing my mouth out, I turned the shower to its highest setting, formerly know as 'burning fuck volcano melt your skin off' hot. As I was waiting for the water to heat, I studied my reflection in the mirror. My scarlet eyes have recently dulled to a muddy brown, my eyes surrounded by dark circles, my skin has lost its natural tan and turned sallow. There was nothing tempting in that reflection, nothing at all. Glancing at my body, I proudly took note in every bone that stuck out, every scar, and every scab. While people talk about the endorphin rush you get from cutting, even less people talk about the itchy scabs; itchy, so itchy, so painfully itchy. And I itch them, itch till they bleed, and then repeat the process until I have huge purple scars. Call it gross, but the pain is exquisite.

I was about to step into my bath when I realized that I was not the only occupant in the bathroom. Whipping around, I realized that, of course, the damn rat was there to witness my shame. I swear, if this night gets any worse, I am just going to call it quits. As I waited for him to speak, _again,_ I realized that he was not longer sympathetic. The only emotion on his face was anger. Shesh.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???"

Alright, safe to say that the rat was mad.

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT, EXPLAIN, WHAT?!?"

Shit, that damn rat was going to cause Shigure and Tohru to come see what the problem is. I frantically signaled for him to shut up. Hopefully he gets the picture.

"KYO, IF YOU continue this type of behavior, I am going to tell somebody. I know you say you are going to get locked up for graduation, but I am sure we can do something. You can run away, I'll help you, but stop hurting yourself. It's killing me. And it would hurt everybody else if they knew about it; think of Ms. Honda."

Oh no he didn't, bring his, _his_, 'love' into this conversation.

"Don't bring Tohru into this conversation. I have taken more than I should from that girl. I've tried hard to push her away; she wouldn't care that much? And why should I stop? Are you worried what people will think? Newsflash: I am the cat, the monster of the Zodiac, the one who is supposed to be looked down on. People won't care, why the hell are you pretending to care?"

Of all answers that could have been thrown my way, this had to be the last one that I expected. Cold, slightly chapped lips were being pressed against mine. My brain is going into overload; the rat, who I have shamelessly lusted over for years is kissing me. And I, not one to let a chance go to waste, responded to the kiss. Licking my lips, and in the process his, I begged for entrance into his mouth. He, thankfully, granted it immediately. His taste, _his taste_, it was indescribable. Sweet, salty, bitter, and completely Yuki's. He tasted amazing; if there was a Yuki flavored dish, I would eat it everyday, three times a day, for the rest of my life. When Yuki realized that I was purring, sending vibrations into his mouth, he moaned.

And all self-control that I supposedly had went out the window.

I pushed him against the bathroom wall, grinding my thigh into his slowly awakening arousal. His grip on my hair loosened, and Yuki slowly slid his hands down to grip my ass, successfully grinding out erections together, causing us both to moan.

And this is when I woke from my lust-enforced fervor.

Panting, I pushed my body away from Yuki's, looking the rat in the eye, wondering at the pink tint that now held purchase on his usually flawless skin. And, it was my turn to ask that question.

"Why?"

Smiling, he placed a chaste kiss on my lips before pushing himself off the wall and walking towards the door. As I slowly started to repeat the question, he looked over his shoulder and said something that I will never forget. Something that I have secretly wanted to hear from his lips for years.

"You asked me why I care, why I don't want you to do this to yourself anymore. The answer is simple; I care because I love you. I haven't told you because of Akito. He would kill you if he thought 'his' rat had fallen for the cat. And I would die if you were killed because of me. So I have remained silent, making you hate me, hoping that you would never realize my emotions. But, if you think that you are going to be locked away after graduation, think again. I won't let it happen. I love you, and I will fight for you. Just trust me, just believe me. Give me a chance… to prove myself, to show that I love you. And please stop, _this_. I care too much."

And with a final wave of his hand, he left the room.

As I lay there trying to wrap my wits around what Yuki had said, I had to admit one thing.

Damn, he sure knew how to kick my ass.

Physically, emotionally, mentally, Yuki knew how to, literally, dangle a piece of thread in front of the cat.

And boy, did I ever want to bat that piece of string.


	2. Chapter 2

Waiting for a time Ch 2

_Yuki's POV_

School was tiring today… well, school is always tiring, but today was especially bad. Fangirls, fanboys, student council, classes, tutoring; they all seemed to a form a 'Fuck over Yuki' coalition for today. During gym, somehow, my fangirls got close enough to take photos of me with out my shirt on, and then during student council I was reprimanded for allowing such porn to be spread across the campus. What, do the teachers at this school actually think that I wanted to be pictured half naked? With no incentive? Pshh, as if that would happen. All in all, it was just one of those cluster-fuck days; you know, the days where everything that could go wrong, does?

It is not like I want to be perfect and it sure as hell is not like I am incapable of acting like a normal teenager. Alright, maybe I will admit that I have some major intimacy issues, but I am sure that I could work past those if I was just given a chance. But I can't, because I know the minute I stop being perfect I will end up back in the one place I have strived so hard to get away from: on the right had of Akito.

I can't be anything other then perfect or I will have to go back to that, _that,_ place, that house, those memories, him. I am eternally grateful that Shigure was alright with me moving in with him, but to this day I wonder: Which is worse, the horrors I faced when I was with Akito, or this all-consuming loneliness I have to bear? Who am I kidding, of course it is better to live with Shigure and put on this façade, but still, one of my biggest secrets is my wish to, just once, be able to act like a normal teenage boy. To be able to forget about my duties, this curse, this family, everybody, and live for myself.

But I can't, and though I am the Rat, it is not in my character to wish for what I know I will never have.

But today, along with being awful, I just had to awake shaking from the reminiscence of that dream. Maybe some people have variety in the sub-conscious rambling, but for me it is cut and dry: I have three dreams. One, Akito is somehow hurting me. Two, Ayame leaves me over and over again. And three, the one that haunts my slumber the most: Kyo is somehow involved in a sexual act with me. I know, ewww, cousin, male, CAT, but for the past few months my life has been a living hell with thoughts of him.

Thoughts of him under me, on top of me, in me, thoughts of what he could do with that mouth of his, thoughts of that sliver of mid-drift I swear he shows on purpose, thoughts of the way his body gleams with sweat after a particularly long work-out…..

If only that was the type of dream that I awoke from this morning. I can deal with wet sleep pants and cum-stained sheets. Hell, I can ever deal with an aching morning erection. But the absolute desolation that comes with that dream scares me.

What kills me is that I know what triggered it; I know what caused this particular dream to haunt me last night. Shigure thought that it would be a grand idea to invite Ayame over. My brother. The person I wanted to be when I was younger.

It wouldn't be so bad, these brother inspired aspirations, no, it really wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't torn everything I ever wanted from me, crushing every little aspect of him that I admired. I remember so clearly the day I lost all respect for him.

When I was younger, I was… how should I say this? I was given the great honor of holding the position as Akito's playmate. My family was honored that the leader of the Sohma clan had chosen their son to play with. I was happy too: it was unusual for my family to be proud of anything that I did, let alone happy with something that I was doing.

The days leading up to my formal introduction with Akito were filled with joy. My family was nice to me, I spent more time then I ever had with my mother and father, and my brother never left my side. I was, for once, treated like their precious son instead of the poor boy possessed by the rat spirit.

And while it was nice to finally have my family admit that I was worth the air I breathed, it was my brother that filled my heart with content. Our family was always special; brothers who were both possessed with a spirit. I the rat, my brother the snake. We were both exceptionally beautiful, and were put on a pedestal since before we could fathom the idea of beauty.

I, for a very long time, harbored feelings for my brother. Not incestuous feelings **(a/n: wow, never thought of that pairing… idk D8)**, but feelings that are no less taboo. I wanted, with all my heart, to be my brother. He was perfection in one form; the grace with which he walked, the way his smile could light up a room, the way he was, unlike me, able to express emotions. But seeing as he was the 'perfect son' my family wanted, he had little time to spend with me. That fact only made the time he spent with me before my introduction to Akito more important. He was special, and by being with me, he was making me special. Seriously, in my child mind, I thought osmosis would work with specialness.

The day came, and I was the picture of a happy child; people would later tell me that I positively glowed with happiness. My first sight of Akito was one filled with wonder. From my child's eyes, I thought that the head of our household was beautiful, beautiful in the way a china doll is: perfect features, but you know that if you touch the damn thing it will break.

My feelings towards Akito were none the less convoluted. For the first time since it was announced that I would become his toy, I was having misgivings. Why did my parents want to give me up? What was going to happen to me? What does Akito want from me? My little mind was whirling with thoughts.

The formal dinner was soon over, and it was now time for me to meet one on one with Akito, face to face for the first time, and I couldn't control the butterflies that were twisting my gut into knots. With a last look at me, my family disappeared, leaving me with my… master?

He sat with his back facing me, looking at the large picturesque window that looked out on a garden. He wasn't speaking, but I was unsure whether or not I should start. My family had advised me to keep quiet until he spoke, but seeing as he was silent, it was a tough job. Finally he spoke to me over his shoulder, breaking the tension that was filling the room.

"Why, Yuki, you are as beautiful as they said, though I am disappointed that they left out the part that you have no personality." His words stung; what, what, what? Why is he saying that I have not personality? I didn't even know what that meant, but I knew it was an insult. The butterflies then decided that it was time to pick up the pace of their flapping: I was close to vomiting from nerves.

"You are beautiful, but not as beautiful as Ayame, never as beautiful as him. Are you as good as him? After all, you are just the sneaky rat: Why do you think that you have been given the position as my companion? Do you want to know?" My heart was thumping hard enough to burst through my chest at any moment, showering both of us in my blood.

How I wanted to know, but I was too frightened to ask. With one glance from over his left shoulder, he caught the mixture of fear and curiosity that was plainly written over my face.

"You see, I wanted Ayame, but your family wouldn't give him to me. He didn't want to be my friend. So, instead of the perfect son, they sent you as their sacrificial lamb, you, the son who has failed them time and time again, the son that they just don't care about. They gave you too me because they didn't want to lose their Ayame. Now, my dear Yuki, how does that make you feel?" With those words, and the soft caress he placed on my cheek, the butterflies won.

I raced to the door, pulling it open quickly, and spilling everything I had eaten for lunch onto the deck. Coughing I looked to Akito, hoping to find some semblance of a lie written on his porcelain face. But to my horror, I found none. At his words, I realized that the last few days were a lie, that nothing my mother or my father, or, dear God, my brother had said or done to me was true.

It was all a lie, every 'I love you', every nice comment.

Part of me died that day. I accepted my fate as Akito's 'companion', but, in the farthest recesses of my mind I still hoped that Akito had lied to me. I still hoped that, if given a chance, my brother would save me from the torment Akito inflicted upon me at any moments notice.

Days bled into each other, weeks faded into months, months combined into years. Akito enjoyed hitting me, enjoyed flaunting his power, but he never hurt me too bad, never put lasting scars on the, as he called it, 'unblemished canvas of my flesh'. No, Akito thrived in torture of the mind. He loved to mind fuck me. He took every last insecurity that I had, and turned them at a whim to suit his needs. He was the worst kind of monster, thriving off breaking me emotionally, scarring me for life.

It was one of those hot, muggy days that told of the eminent storm that was on the horizon, a storm of the worst kind. Summer thunderstorms. Akito granted me the joy of being locked in that room, _that room, _the room where most of his punishments were given. Somebody had cracked the door, probably in an attempt to stave off the heat stroke that I knew was coming soon.

Starring out the cracked door I was startled to see movement: Akito was gone for the day, and it wasn't meal time. Upon my second inspection, I realized that, outside my door, stood my brother. The brother I hadn't seen in months, the brother that Akito told me had sold me to save himself.

Blame it on the heat, blame it on my mental instability, blame it on the torture Akito had been putting me under, but when I saw him, all thoughts of being Akito's flew out the window: I needed to see my brother, I needed to ask him if what Akito had told me was true, and above all else, I needed him to save me before it was too late.

"Ayame", I was shouting by this point, but I had lost the will to care, "Brother, why haven't you seen me, why haven't you saved me? You didn't really want me to be here. Please, save me! Please!"

That cool, collected glance and that perfect sneer were enough for me. Everything that Akito had told me, everything he taunted me with was true; my family really didn't give a damn about it. My only brother, the brother I wanted to _be_, turned his back on me, walking away from my torment, from me.

After that, I literally lost the will to live. I stopped eating, stopped reacting to anything. Akito was infuriated that his companion was so close to death. With a few well-placed words from Shigure I was allowed to live at his house. I had to continue daily visits with Akito until I entered high school, but for me, being out of that house, away from that room, away from that oppressing air, away from Akito, that was enough to snap me out of my apathetic state of mind.

It took me years before I was able to look at Ayame without returning to the child I was when he left me, years for me to be near Ayame before I was not swamped with bone-crushing loneliness. For my sake, I put those emotions to rest, and the time I have spent at Shigure's house has healed most of the wounds inflicted during my time with Akito.

That's the story behind two of my choices of dreams. I haven't had a dream about either Akito or Ayame for a long while, my dreams taking a more sensual turn, but the surprise visit from Ayame left me shaking with loneliness in the morning, preparing me for an awful day.

But finally, after this cluster-fuck day, finally I was heading home to enjoy my weekend. Which, hopefully, would involve copious amounts of my favorite pastime: Kyo stalking. But, when I got home, there was neither hide nor tail of him, which made me wonder where he was off to. He would usually be down here, _fawning_ over Ms. Honda, dripping hormones on the floor…. Gahhh, I swear I am not that jealous. Right. Lie. Right. There. But besides the fact that I am a jealous rat, I really do wonder where that cat was.

And that curiosity made me more than happy to run and do Ms. Honda's bidding, seeing as she so kindly asked me to go tell Kyo that dinner was ready.

Bounding up the stairs, I quickly stopped by the bathroom to check to see if my appearance was in check. Being called a beauty my entire life, I had grown to understand and accept the power my appearance held. And, if it helped me win Kyo over, well, hell, I've got to work with what I've got, right?

Knowing that Kyo would not open the door for me if I knocked, I decided to barge in, hoping that a fight would ensue, which would give me the chance to touch him, even in a violent way.

In my defense, if I knew what I was going to walk in on, I would have knocked. Or at least prepared myself for what I was about to see. And, damn, let me tell you I was surprised.

I.

Was.

Fucking.

Stunned.

Or maybe horrified would be a better way to describe what I saw. My cousin, my rival, my… my Kyo was sitting on his bed with his blood dripping from very obvious self-inflicted wounds. But not only that, his body was littered with healed scars, every bone popping out, announcing to the world his starvation.

We locked eyes (**a/n: so, when I re-read that line, all I could think about was jizz in my pants…."Lock eyes from across the room")**, his eyes widened from the obvious horror he felt at someone, no, me finding the truth behind his secret.

My mind is blank as he forces me to realize the truth behind his actions; cutting, eating-disorders? Suicidal intent. Oh God, his body is even worse when he stands up. Shit, I would have never have guessed that the ever angry Cat would be so wounded underneath it all. Crap, he's going to bandage his wounds… and there is blood… and I hate blood. Ughhh, I am seriously going to puke everywhere. How would that look like in front of Kyo? He would probably think I am an even bigger pussy.

But still, my heart is breaking. Why would he ever think that he had to do something like this? Why? It makes no sense. Why?

Subconsciously I know what he is trying to say, but I just can't understand why. He thinks that he killed his mom? He's getting locked up? What the fuck? He thinks he needs to punish himself because he is a monster and shouldn't be allowed pleasure? Sensory overload to the max, I am going to freak if I don't leave this room soon.

It's just sick that somebody so beautiful could hurt themselves so. It's just wrong.

I made my excuses, pathetically championing the fact that Tohru had dinner waiting for us downstairs, hoping against hope that he would take my offered hand. And he did. Walking towards the dining room, my mind was contemplating how I would approach the conversation we **would** have later that night. How is he going to react? How am I going to make him understand that their will be a way to get him out of being locked up, that there is a way to prevent everything. I am the 'damn rat'. I will make this work.

I was so distracted by the fact that Kyo had willing touched me that I did not realize the trap that I had unknowingly walked into; that damn perverted writer and his perverted/twisted/ secretly admired brain. Did he just say that….did he really just say that? "Passionate butt-sex"? Well, fuck, I am redder than that cherry of Kyo's that I so want to pop….calm down inner pervert….but, Kyo just looks pissed.

Fuck, how is this going to work? He stormed off to go to bed. When am I going to talk to him? And what am I going to say? I don't know, I am going to just wing it. I'm a Sohma, its time for me to grow some balls. Shit. Help. Me.

After I assisted Tohru in her cleaning adventures, I bid farewell to my 'family' and headed up to my room, brain constantly whirring with the thought of different scenarios that could happen between Kyo and I.

As far as I am concerned, there is only one acceptable possibility between us: He will stop this self-mutilation junk, and he will go to college. He has no other choices.

Listening from my room, I realize that Kyo has been in the bathroom for a much longer time than is decent. My blood is momentarily exchanged with ice as I thought of what else Kyo had mentioned during his minor melt down: Anorexia, bulimia? Not in my wildest dreams could I honestly imagine somebody doing….that… but I knew that was what Kyo was doing right now.

Fuck, take the cat by its tail, as they say. Or really what I say in my mind. Away from anybody who could hear and repeat what I say.

In the end, this rat, this rat that has been held to the highest standards his entire life, this rat was frightened of the scenario that most likely was being hidden by the bathroom door. I don't want to see what Kyo is doing, but as I gathered my already shot nerves, I steeled myself for the obvious confrontation that waited me behind that door.

Slipping through the entrance, I waited behind the sliding door that separated where I was from the bathroom. I could hear Kyo retching, throwing up the painfully small amount of food that he had allowed himself. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes as I bared witness to the depth of Kyo's suicidal agenda.

I was snapped out of my revere by the sound of running water. I knew that Kyo would not be aware of me if I came into the bathroom during his shower, so I carefully crept into the bathroom, taking extra precaution to minimize noise just in case Kyo became aware that he was not the only inhabitant in the bathroom.

I waited as he scrubbed his body clean, all possible scenarios running through my head. What makes me the most anxious is the very real possibility of me accidentally confessing to him, and in turn, being painfully, hardly rejected. If he rejected me, I don't know what would happen. I would… I just don't want to think about it.

Once more caught daydreaming, I was brought aware by the soft swish of the shower curtain being pulled open and the sharp intake of air Kyo chocked on once realizing that I was in the bathroom. Seeing his body in its full state, open to me save the saving grace of a small towel across his waist, I lost it. I saw red.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??? "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT, EXPLAIN, WHAT?!?"

Calm and collected 'ice-prince Yuki' obviously left on a long overdue vacation at the sight of his Kyo….that's right, his fucking Kyo….slowly killing his self. And there was no way in hell that he would allow that to go on any longer.

Oh probably should quiet down, but only after I threaten him. It really is the ultimate trump card: Quit doing what you are doing or I will tell Akito about it. And I know he loves Tohru. He would rather die than have Tohru find out about his dirty little secrets.

He thinks that I don't care? That I don't care if he dies? That I don't care if I am left in this world without him? Fuck that, I will show it.

Kyo's lips were soft and warm, and I was in heaven. I was finally able to feel the mouth that I have been fantasizing about for years. Kyo was….kissing me back? As I felt his tongue press against my closed mouth, I opened my mouth in a silent moan. Kyo was kissing me back; he was kissing me back with passion, with feeling, with….

H-his thigh is pressing right—right there, right where my desire had decided to make its self evident. If I had known that Kyo would react as such, I would have approached him earlier. Damn, my self-control is obviously out the window, but I will not back down; I am not a uke, it is that simple.

Knowing that he was not as opposed to _us_ as I once thought, I reached around, grasping firmly onto his delicious ass, pushing forward in an attempt to attain more of the sinful friction between our arousals. But seeing as he pushed me away, I would say that this attempt of mine was not appreciated. Why he asks? I guess I am not the only one tonight to ask the single most pointless question on the face of the earth.

He asks me why, and I know that it is time to reveal it all, to put myself on the line. To tell him why I care.

"You asked me why I care, why I don't want you to do this to yourself anymore. The answer is simple; I care because I love you. I haven't told you because of Akito. He would kill you if he thought 'his' rat had fallen for the cat. And I would die if you were killed because of me. So I have remained silent, making you hate me, hoping that you would never realize my emotions. But, if you think that you are going to be locked away after graduation, think again. I won't let it happen. I love you, and I will fight for you. Just trust me, just believe me. Give me a chance… to prove myself, to show that I love you. And please stop _this_. I care too much."

Nervous as hell, but hopeful that Kyo would take the bait, I exited the bathroom, entering my room, my stomach awake with nervous butterflies. I just hoped that he wasn't sickened by me now, and I hoped he would somehow reciprocate my feelings. And, on a more virginal, teenage, hormone driven level I was hoping that Kyo would take the bait, and would come to question me. In my room. In his towel. Dripping wet. My problem was no longer half-hard; all hard and waiting was the problem now.

Much to my delight, moments after I sat on my bed Kyo walked into my room just as I had imagined him in many dreams that left me sticky and sated. This broken angel was sex on two legs; his obvious faults making him that much more endearing in my eyes. His large crimson eyes were wet with unshed tears and questions, and I knew that it was my job to appease the frightened cat.

"Kyo, give this a chance. I know you and I are probably not the most adept at people, but we are in this together. I know you want me, and I want you…the rest of the pieces of the puzzle will fall together later. We have each other, it will all work out. I promise."

I hoped these carefully chosen and well thought out words would appease him, but judging by the searing glare Kyo was now directing towards me, I sagely realized that I was mistaken.

"I want you, sure, that's pretty fucking obvious by the hard-on I am sporting because of your ass, but you honestly think that just because we are together this will work out? Are you serious, or are you fucking with me?"

I recognized that this brash front was barely covering the obvious mental strain Kyo was suffering from. Even If I could not put myself in his shoes, I could only imagine what was going through is mind. Why, after years of putting up a front, after years of suffering, why should he allow his greatest 'enemy' into his fragile existence? Why should he give the one he 'hates' the most the ability to crush him. Knowing what's at stake, I chose my next words carefully.

"Kyo, look at me. This can work, it can. Trust me. In no time at all I will have you non-suicidal and madly in love with me…hahaha, seriously, it will work, just trust me, please?"

As his eyes gradually met mine, I could tell by the raging emotions that past through his crimson gaze that he was losing the battle. With one last blink of his eyes, and a dedicated step towards my seated person, I knew he had ceded: He was willing to give _us_ a try.

"I swear to God, to whatever deity that is looking out for us besides Akito that I you are just fucking with me, I will find the closest knife and end it all…on your bed. You fuckwad; you have one chance with this, don't fuck up. For me?"

With his first step towards me I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulder. Kyo was acknowledging the possibility of a relationship, and that is all that mattered to me at this moment. The future would come, and when it did, we would handle the problems together. But, there were more serious matters at hand. A Kyo who had recently returned my feelings was standing inches from my bed, dripping wet, nothing but a short, white towel saving Kyo from full nudity. Which was an issue all too itself. A most grievous issue.

Reaching forward, I grabbed on to his arm, pulling him to stand between my parted legs. He smelled sweet, that clean smell that only comes from a hot shower and copious amounts of soap. Looking into his expressive eyes, I noticed that for once the emotions flickering through them were not harsh; I saw lust, nervousness, embarrassment, and above all happiness. Putting him at ease was my first call to order, and removing his towel was my second.

"Do you want me to show you how much I mean this…how much I want you? We can just…_play_… tonight if you want. I don't love you just because you are the physical embodiment of sin…but please let me show you what I can do for you, Kyo?"

With abated breath I waited as Kyo mentally debated the impact of my words. Judging by the almost feral look in his eyes, and the lips that were now fervently pressed to mine, I think Kyo was willing to let me play with him.

Taking control of the kiss, I pushed Kyo back onto the bed, straddling his hips, pressing my groin directly into his. At the moan and abrupt tug at my hair, I assumed it was appreciated.

I attacked his mouth, slipping my tongue into that hot cavern, tasting Kyo once again for the evening. Kyo tasted like, well none of the usual adjectives, like sin/rain, but he tasted… like Kyo. Ignoring the inane conversation that was playing in the back of my consciousness, I sent my tongue into battle. Like any cat, Kyo was accomplished with his tongue, immediately bringing it into our kiss, tangling and playing with mine in the most sensuously and maddening way. All I could think was how much I wanted that talented tongue plied to another part of my anatomy that was currently aching for attention. Realizing this, I rearranged my hips, and once again ground my erection into the general area of his…

Shit….

Seeing as I am seme in this play, I figure that it would not be a good idea to blow my load to early, but fuck, if I do that again, I'm gonna look like a pre-pubescent boy who just discovered masturbation. Shit.

By now, Kyo was making the most delectable noises, having fully lost himself into the pleasure that I am inflicting him with. Gently retracting my mouth from his, I moved down to his beautifully flushed neck. Trailing kisses along his jaw, from his Adam's apple to his ears, I was amused at the deep shade of red he turned from my kisses. For future references, the little chibi Yuki in my head said, remember how Kyo reacts to his ears. He turns into a pile of goo just from a few kisses to his ears. Seriously.

Once more amused, and greatly aroused by the effect my attentions had on the cat, I moved lower down, with my eye on two very delicious looking prizes; his brown, flat nipples. Attaching my mouth to one while my hand played with the other, I was pleased at the way Kyo arched into my mouth. It was obvious from his reactions that he wanted this, and he was alright with me playing the dominate role.

Go me.

Knowing that Kyo would only receive a marginal amount of pleasure from the attention I was lavishing on his nipples, I moved my body down once more, leaving love marks in the wake of my mouth.

Gently fucking my tongue in and out of his navel, I let myself glance up at Kyo. His ribs stark against the expanse that is his body, scars shining faintly white in the dim light of my room, sweat beading on his forehead, body flushed, gasping for air, eyes wide and vulnerable. Kyo had never looked so fragile, so broken, so _happy_ at this moment in time. And seeing his faults made me love him that much more, convinced me that much more that I would protect him with everything that I had.

And, as the chibi Yuki in my head was oft to remind me, I was the one that had him like this, who had aroused him in a ways nobody else had. Or at least I hoped hadn't. This was my first time ever touching another person so intimately, and even though I put on this front to reassure Kyo, I was scared as hell that I was fucking this up. At this moment, I was finally thankful for all those hours of watching gay porn while others thought I was studying. Finally it was being put to use. Sweet.

By now, I had reached the short white towel that was covering Kyo from me. Judging by the massive tent, I had succeeded in my previous endeavor of pleasuring my cat. Looking into his eyes, I was happy to see that Kyo's eyes held no inhibition, and with a nod of his head, I was finally able to remove the last article of cloth between me and my love.

Do you know those moments when you see or hear something that just leaves you stunned, and I mean, mouth open, drool falling out of your mouth, eyes wide stunned. Like if you actually got to see the men from Brokeback fucking? Well that is what was happening to me, Yuki Sohma, pride of the Sohma clan.

One look at seriously the most beautiful penis that was ever created and I was turned into a full on drooling, babbling idiot that needed an aid to make sure I wouldn't choke on my tongue.

Nor did it help me that as the towel rubbed on Kyo's leaking slit, he let loose the most orgasmic moan that has ever graced anybodies ears. But, none the less, Kyo was perfect.

He wasn't huge, but he wasn't small. A good seven inches… but he was _thick._ Though I was the supposed seme, chibi Yuki and I had a brief daydream of a day where Kyo would have that inside me, filling me to an impossible measure. Uhhhh, yes. Brought back to reality, I once again took in the sight that was Kyo. With his legs bent and spread apart, I was rewarded with a sight no other, hopefully, had seen. The base of Kyo's cock was surrounded by a sparse thatch of orange curls, almost like a welcoming sign to the goods. His balls were firm and looked to be the perfect size, fitting into the palm of my hand. And underneath his balls, I could see it. His pink little fuckhole. All I wanted to do was enter him and fuck him into the mattress twelve ways to Sunday, but knowing that is not what we were doing tonight, I pushed those thoughts to the side.

Judging by the impatient look on Kyo's face, if I didn't do something soon he was either going to a) tell me to get the fuck on with it or b) leave and take care of his problem without my help. Rubbing reassuring circles into his prominent hip bones, I decided that I had tortured Kyo enough. Wanting to hear him scream, I decided to skip all forms of foreplay, and took Kyo to the hilt.

Gag, gag, and gag.

But the scream that erupted from his throat when I engulfed his penis was well worth the effort it took to suppress my gag reflex. Bobbing my head up and down his shaft, Kyo was unable to do much besides moan. He was experiencing so much please…go me…that he was unable to keep from bucking up into my mouth, which would end with me chocking to death because of cock in my mouth. Can you see the news that would cause?

With one hand I held his hips in place, while the other gently cupped his sac. He was smooth, softer than velvet, and hairless. I felt them begin to tighten as I rolled them in my palm.

Coming back to the cock that was firmly lodged into my mouth, I must say, pre-cum is not the most pleasant taste in the world. It was bitter and salty, but from what I had heard, it would taste much better after the pre-cum was gone. Pulling back, I allowed my hand to worry his shaft as I laid kisses to his head. Swirling my tongue, I gently pushed the tip into the slit, collecting the pre-cum that had gathered there. Kyo, whose vocabulary up until now had been reduced to moans and cries of affirmation, finally chocked out a sentence. Sorta.

"Yuki, I-I'm c-ahh-cum-ohhh-ing!"

If I did not say that I more or less had a mental orgasm at his words, I would not give Kyo justice to his overall sexiness. Knowing my cat was close, I once again took him deep into my mouth, and as I started swallowing around his cock once more, he tensed, the first strings of his orgasm violently shooting down my throat. Pulling back, I released my hold on his hips, and allowed Kyo to ride out his orgasm as he fucked my mouth.

"Ah, oh, aaaahhh-Fuck-ahh, uhnnnn, YUKI!"

Swallowing everything that he gave me, I was astonished by how sweet he tasted. Yes, cum did taste better than pre-cum. The obvious soreness that I would feel in my throat tomorrow was so worth getting to hear Kyo say my name in a voice that was so laden with lust.

With a wet pop, I released Kyo from my mouth, and grabbed my own erection that was threatening revolt it I did not do something about it soon. As embarrassing as it is, within a few strokes I came everywhere, coating my fingers with my own essence. Coming down from my own orgasmic high, I was met with a hungry stare from the man I just blew. Reaching forward, Kyo grabbed the hand that was covered in my cum and like the cat he was, licked my hand clean.

There is obviously a law somewhere that prevents lovers from doing things that just ooze sex, such as eating your partners cum off their hand. It's probably illegal in most countries.

After Kyo finished his 'treat', he pulled me forward that that I lay curled into his naked body, effectively sealing the awkward after sex questions. Kyo wanted me, he wanted to stay with me, and he was alright with what we did. Which is all that I needed.

Turning to my side, I placed a final kiss on Kyo's smiling mouth, and looking into each other's face, we allowed sleep to claim us, secure in each other, and in what we had. For the first time in a long time I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

**Authors note**: Wow, sorry for not updating this in, well, three months, but life just got ridiculously busy… fml… seriously. I usually update my stories every couple of weeks, but midterm fuck season came.. and I am almost done with finals now. Berkeley is hard. Seriously. But, my first year in college is coming to an end, and I am going to have all summer to write new stories!!!

I have the next three chapter completed when do you guys want them updated?

Also, should I switch this story to just Kyo's POV or Yuki's? If it's Kyo's, its gonna be more angsty, but if it's Yuk's, more perverted. Yeah!

I love you all, and I really appreciate the reviews! You guys are amazing!


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